One Sunday morning, Ji got up early as usual. I got her from her cot and bourght her into our bed. While she was wide awake, I was drifting in and out of sleep. To keep her happy I gave her my mobile phone to play with. Next thing I know I’ve drifted off again.

When I wake up again I remember I gave her my mobile phone, so I proceed to look for it, but can’t seem to find it anywhere. I look under the covers, on the floor, under the bed, in the pillow case, - but no joy.

She likes to throw things these days, so I was fearing the worst. So I decided to ring the phone. I dialled the number from the landline- the ringtone started - and Ji started to cry - the sound seem to be coming from her ! She hadn’t swallowed it of course, she’d dropped it down her back and it had slipped down between her sleepsuit and nappy. I was just grateful it hadn’t slipped into her nappy!

It was Jays 8th birthday recently, and after much deliberation, we decided on a cinema party - the fact that they are sat quietly in the dark for a couple of hours - swung it.

The deal is they get to watch a film with a drink, popcorn, and ice cream, and after or before the film we get a room for the party for 1 hour. We booked it with Showcase Cinema De Luxe.

What was annoying was that there was no phone number for our local cinema on their website. I sent an email pointing this out, and asking for the number but got no reply. Why do companies have a contact email, and then don’t respond! - most annoying - so Showcase Cinemas please take note!

Luckily a friend works near the cinema, so got the number for us. The latest money spinner for the cinemas these days is 3D, which means an extra £2 per ticket, and we had to take care of 12 children!!

Once all the kids arrived its time to get everyones order. One member of staff then gets everyones order. As you can imagine this takes some time. With a drink in one hand, popcorn in the other, and then 3D glasses to hold - tricky for an adult never mind an 8 year old.

The film was - Cloudy With Chance Of Meatballs, which was ok and the kids seemed to enjoy it. For the party afterwards we got cheese and tomato pizzas - nice and easy. The room itself as a TV so you can take a games console. We decided to take some board games. His current favourite is “Golden Balls” - don’t ask I find it completely baffling!

All in all I would recommend it, as I said they are occupied during the film - so it gives the parents a break. Value wise its comparable with other options such as a football party, wacky warehouse type places. Although the food is not included, so you have to factor that in.

The Childrens Minister, Ed Balls has told Ofsted not to intervene or regulate private childcare arrangements where no financial reward is present. Obviously we are delighted to hear this. Both on a business and personal level.

We found it hard to believe that when this legislation was being proposed, that nobody spotted the obvious flaws. Perhaps the law makers all have nannies!

The minister acknowledged that the rules was never intended to regulate private childcare arrangements and had assumed they were not part of Ofsteds remit. Unfortunately Ofsted interpreted the term “reward” to be all encompassing. The example I was given was - a box of chocolates was deemed reward - unbelievable!!

But thankfully common sense has prevailed, and it will be upto parents to decide what is best for their children and their particular circumstances. For a step by step guide, see how it works, and register today.

You may have seen the story in the press in the last few days concerning the two mothers who have fallen foul of Ofsted rules and been banned from sharing childcare.

Click Daily Mail.

To recap two mothers who have children of around the same age, and work as police officers for the same constabulary, decided to share childcare between themselves so that they could both work part time. Sounds like a common sense solution. Well you would think so.
The Ofsted rules state that if person A is not related to person B, and provides childcare for person B for more than 2 hours and then in turn receives a “reward”, now reward can mean something as small as a box of chocolates, or a drink. Then person A is actually breaking the law!, unless she becomes a registered childminder, and complys with all the rules and regulations of being a registered childminder, including being inspected by Ofsted. In this case, the receiving of childcare is deemed as reward, and therefore is not allowed. This rule only applys to children under 8 years old.
An e-petition asking for the government to change the law so recipricol childcaring is allowed, and the term “reward” is clarified is available at number10.gov.uk and I urge you to sign it.

When we originally heard about this rule, like most people we couldn’t believe it, it sounded so ridiculous, surely it cound’nt be true. The most common reaction we got from friends and family was “that can’t be right you must have misunderstood” But yet it was. However there are exceptions to this rule.

1. If you provide your childcare at the home of the child you are sharing with, then Ofsted registration is not required, and there are no restrictions.

2. If you provide no more than 14 days of childcare per year from a specific address. (This equates to nearly 3 weeks if you are looking at weekday childcare).

3. If you provide childcare between the hours of 6pm to 2am.

4. If the children concerned are more than 8 years old, then there is no restrictions.

We include this information in the terms and conditions of our website, having consulted with Ofsted on the exact wording and placing of this information, so that they were happy with this.

We understand that the spirit of the law is there to protect children from unlicenced childminders who are may not be trained, or qualified. But who are essentially operating a business without complying with the rules and regulations required, including tax declarations.
Unfortunately, the letter of the law penalises private arrangements, between consenting parents, who are simply helping each other out.
I suspect that nearly every parent in the UK unknowingly must have fallen foul of this rule at some point when raising their children, including ourselves.

We hope common sense prevails, and the law is amended, not just because we operate a website, but because as parents of young children we recognise that parents need help, and if we can help each other out, what’s that got to do with the state?
So please sign the petition, and if you have any questions, feedback, or comments, then please feel free to add to the debate.

My wife received this email yesterday. I thought I’d pass it on. Made me chuckle.

I was out walking with my 4 year old. She picked up something from the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away and asked her not to do that.

“Why ?” my daughter asked.

“Because its been on the ground, you dont know where its been. Its dirty and got germs” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked “Mum how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart”. I was thinking quickly.

“All mums know this stuff, its on the Mums Test. You have to know it, or they dont let you be a mum”.

We walked along for a few minutes, and she was evidently pondering this new information.

“OH… I get it” she beamed. “So if you dont pass the test, you have to be the dad”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on face.

When you’ve finished laughing, pass this onto a mum.

Ji is now 11 months old and last week was her first couple of days at nursery. The previous week my wife had taken her for some taster sessions, and found the experience too traumatic, even more than the prospect of going back to work after nearly a year off.

So it was left to me to drop her off in the morning - what I call the “tears run” - Booo Daddy!!, and my wife would pick her up - the “cheers run” - Yeah mummys here!!

Tuesday was the first day and I had been well briefed by my wife, to take her in, to play with her, and settle her in and when she was distracted, slip away without her noticing.

So come the time, did I do as I was told- course not - I handed her over, she started crying - and I left! Cruel to be kind, I say.

But the Mrs did not agree. So the next day I tried her tact. So I went in and played with her, tried to distract her, but shes far to clever for that - after two days shes cottoned on - and stuck to me like a leech.

The result - the same -picked her up and handed her over in tears. I’m sure in the long run she’ll be fine. Its just something you have to get through, but what is the right approach?. Short and sharp or coaxing her gently into distraction.

Any tips greatly received by bad daddy - Booo!!

Jay went back to school this week. Thursday was his first day back (odd day to go back, but I suppose it eases them back into the swing of things). The evening before was spent organising everything for the first day of school.

1. P.E. kit ironed and put in right bag- check.

2. New book bag-check.

3. New jacket - check.

2. New uniform ordered. Old one complete with frayed wrists ironed and ready to wear - check.

3. Dinner money (gone up again), wrote cheque - err…check.

Come the morning, wakey wakey rise and shine. Back into the routine again. Went fairly smoothly… Jay was putting his coat and shoes on when suddenly there was a scream!, followed by a river of tears. Turned out there was a wasp in his shoe!, which stung him on his big toe!. We’ve got through the whole of summer, and what seems like millions of wasps for some reason, and he gets bitten now!! Anyway after some antihistermine and some tlc he was fine, and looking forward to the weekend. He’s looking forward to half term already.

If, by Rudyard Kipling is my ( and many other peoples) favourite poem. So I’ve done my own less poetic version.

If you can flush the toilet after going for a poo, and not leave it for me to find two hours later, stinking out the loo.

If you can finish your dinner first instead of last, despite starting before everyone. And take your dishes to the kitchen and not leave them on the dining table.

If you can shut the door everytime you come in or leave a room.

If you can keep your room clean for longer than a day.

If you can tidy up your toys without being asked, and blaming it on others, even when they are your toys.

If you can do as you are told without being asked more than three times.

If you can stop watching TV, playing on the Wii, the internet without being asked to stop.

If you can not start planning your next birthday party a month after your last one.

If you can fold your clothes, and not leave them in a big heap.

If you can refrain from saying “Can I buy this, its really cheap”

If you can go to bed on time and not keep adding five more minutes.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of silence, then yours is the earth and everything thats in it, and whats more you’ll be a man my son.

My son Jay telling me about England winning the Ashes.

Jay: Dad England won the Ashes.

Me: I know.

Jay: Were India in the Ashes?

Me: Its always England and Australia.

Jay: So theres no semi-final?

Me: No its always England v Australia, they played some matches along time ago, and now they play every two years against each.

Jay: Thats not fair, other teams should be allowed to play.

Then on seeing the Ashes trophy.

Jay: They play for that little trophy, thats tiny!

Me: Yeah.

Jay: Then its not worth it, other teams probably don’t want to play just for that. Footballs much better, you have lots of other teams and a big trophy you can kiss.

Me: I agree. Football is simple, cricket is complicated!

You may have seen the report on a pocket money survey on the Letssharecare.com home page, which surrveyed 1000 parents on the amount of pocket money they give their children. With a 7 year old boy, I was interested to see what the going rate would be. The average for a 7 year old is £2.03, musn’t forget the 3p that would buy three extra penny sweets, or in my day 6 half penny sweets!

Personally we dont give Jay any regular pocket money. He gets money from relatives/friends at Christmas and birthdays, which he saves. His grandad also gives him a pound every time we visit him. According to this survey, even a five year old gets £1.80.

Personally  I dont see the point of giving a young child a regular amount. What does he need it for?, what does it really teach him?. Surely it just encourages him to spend it, as he know hes going to get some more next week.

How does yours compare? Do you pay more or less than this survey suggests? Do you let your kids spend it on whatever they want or are there conditions attached. Also do you pay it regardless or does your child have to do certain tasks, effectively earning the money. Do let us know.

Another peice of research suggests that school children lose on average two months learning over the summer holidays, if their parents fail to keep them “mentally active”. Which all sounds pretty common sense stuff. I know when I’ve got back from holiday, I cant even remember my PC passwords, and have to have them reset. For the first hour of work I feel like I’ve been away for months, but by the second hour, I don’t feel like I’ve been away at all!!

So its understandable it takes kids a while to re adjust to active learning after school holidays. The key is to keep them “mentally active”, i.e visiting libraries, museams, etc.

Of course we all start with the best intentions. I know I did. One of the things Jay is weak at is creative writing, so I thought I’ll encourage him to write about days out, and when we go on holiday.

He was enthusiastic up until the point he actually had to write, and then when he did it was the familiar “I did this, then I did that, then I did the other”.

Part of me thinks what the hell, let him relax and enjoy himself. Theres plenty of time to study and work when he’s older. Kids are put under to much pressure, its all about SATs and league tables, and whether he’s on the “top table” for maths- which by the way he is. There you have it in a nutshell - the dilemma - you still want to see your kids do well, and when they don’t - it feels like a personal failure on your parenting skills.

The holidays are nearly at an end, soon it will be back to the grind, getting stuck in traffic, and the gauntlet of the school run. Enjoy it while you can son.